Count no day lost in which you waited your turn, took only your share and sought advantage over no one.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

There’s always music. Everywhere.

If some dude I'd never heard of managed to broadcast a platitude like that to the whole globe, I'd probably just feel like I was being spammed.

The easier you make it for people to go, the more likely they are to stay.

I don't let my picture be taken. I'm on too many hit lists.

I suppose I'm intrigued with the bad traits of society, because I'm a part of society, and the bad traits pose the dangerous questions for our future.

Anger is my biggest enemy in life.

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

Sir, you have but two topics, yourself and me. I am sick of both.

I had thought that I would stop in 2017, but my coach has told me to stop saying that as I may continue into 2018. I'm not thinking about it at the moment.

A mistake in drawing becomes difficult to detect when the eye is familiar with it.