Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

Write until your fingers break. It may be the cure for everything.

because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, “Take your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance.” And then I hung up on him.

It is hard to stop a hopeful soul from the pursuit of passion.

The adversaries main goal is to confuse & discourage the great.

Great leaders don't just know the sweet spots of their people. They tap into and unchain the infinite potential imprisoned within their people...

Diversity isn’t a trend

Most people remember me for a couple of tunes.

Marriage is and should be defined as being between one man and one woman.

Let every man shovel out his own snow and the whole city will be passable.