Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

It's about loving you so much that it makes me feel miserable and elated at the same time. It's about needing you so much that I feel like I can't breathe without you.

Is life a fantasy or fairy tales?

As the wind continued to howl and groan through her decaying body, she began to sing her story.

Through recognizing and realizing the empty essence, instead of being selfish and self-centered, one feels very open and free

Energy has become a national security issue and as technology continues to improve, there will be more debates like the one on Keystone.

That was a judicious mother who said, "I obey my children for the first year of their lives, but ever after I expect them to obey me.

Relationship is a mirror in which you can see yourself, not as you would wish to be, but as you are.

Let me tell you, that was a thrill. Now, even more, I knew I had to get Schmeling good.

How does Usain Bolt know you? You're just my soccer coach.

I started a list of things I want to teach my children, and that list is eight points long. The first one is, do what you love.