Courtroom : A place where Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot would be equals, with the betting odds favoring Judas.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Angry driver is angry human and how you drive is how you are. You can tell me the drive is different than the driver, but I haven't seen it to be.

The habits we form from childhood make no small difference, but rather they make all the difference.

I would love to occasionally do English-speaking films, but the script is as important for me as the director.

You are the sum total of everything you've seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot- it's all right there.

Put up your guards, keep faith in God, I promise you all the world will be ours.

Do not go to bed until you have gone over the day three times in your mind. What wrong did I do? What good did I accomplish? What did I forget to do?

So that's how you're going to fix the family problem. Little Dragomirs. Good idea.

I was brought up in a clergyman's household so I am a first-class liar.

Give me a paper and pen, so I can write about my life of sin. A couple of bottles of gin, in case I don't get in.