Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

Competition is the death of art.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Don’t just practice religion, abide by the principles of Christ

Sun, moon and stars, are objects that already existed in the foundation of human consciousness since birth, in the beginning stage of creation process.

Revolt and revolution both wind up at the same crossroads: the police, or folly.

The biggest cliche in Photography is Sunrise and Sunset.

If we're not in the debates there will be no real discussion of climate change, because Hillary Clinton's policy does not begin to address the threat.

The kids out there want something they can relate to, something that's real; most of that whiny stuff isn't real. The cheesy pop songs just bore me to death.

It is clear that Messi is on a level above all others. Those who do not see that are blind.

Actors are responsible to the people we play.

Learning is not a task or a problem-it is a way to be in the world. Man learns as he pursues goals and projects that have meaning for him.

Where no bondage is, there is no cause and effect.