Creationism: God's gift to the ignorant.

Much as we might wish to believe otherwise, universal love and the welfare of the species as a whole are concepts which simply do not make evolutionary sense.

Do not indoctrinate your children. Teach them how to think for themselves, how to evaluate evidence, and how to disagree with you.

Faith is belief without evidence and reason; coincidentally that's also the definition of delusion.

Evolution is just a theory? Well, so is gravity and I don't see you jumping out of buildings.

Such delusions of grandeur to think that a God with a hundred billion galaxies on his mind would give a tuppenny damn who you sleep with, or indeed whether you believe in him.

The less you think, the more you believe.

How thoughtful of God to arrange matters so that, wherever you happen to be born, the local religion always turns out to be the true one.

The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

Science is the poetry of reality.

The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.

Faith is a strange creature, ” Schuster said. “Like a falcon that nests year after year in the same place, but then flies away, sometimes for years, only to return again, stronger than ever.

I remember wanting to flee her, and being unable to flee her, so in need of her and half hating her for it, and I still am nauseous from it.

No death, no doom, no anguish can arouse the surpassing despair which flows from a loss of ide

The most critical risk of all, is not taking the risk if means be dangerous.

I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.

[V]irtue or morality is a necessary spring of popular government.

We used to play baseball back in that field and keep an eye out for the bulls.

One of the perks of being a New Yorker cartoonist is that you get to hang around with interesting people. My fellow cartoonists are all interesting, and all highly creative.

Begin to recognize prosperity everywhere, and rejoice in it.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.