Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

The darkest part of the storm paints the brightest part of the rainbow.

God has been so good to me. All glory to the Adonai!

...I happen to be the kind of author who in starting to work on a book has no purpose than to get rid of that book....

I still like to go to record stores, I like to just wander around and I'll buy whatever catches my attention.

Groups like The Mountain Brothers just have to keep on doing what they're doing - just make it dope and just make it different. And not try to compete with other people of color.

There is very strong historical data that suggest the way societies grow is by making large, long-term investments.

That dichotomy between the public consumption of the work and my intent and practice in making it is an uneasy one for me, on occasion.

A wellborn mind that is practiced in dealing with people makes itself thoroughly agreeable by itself. Art is nothing else but thelist and record of the productions of such minds.

The state sovereignty is key here in the Electoral College - and if you're going to start divvying up the power of each state's elections, you are destroying state sovereignty.

Do your duty and leave the rest to Providence.