Crime is for poor people. You don't need to rob the bank if you own it.

Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

You don't have to be a genius when you're surrounded by morons.

It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it.

Insanity is just what we call stupidity when it doesn't make sense.

Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess.

I thought I was going to be a poet when I was in college, but then I found out I was poor so I decided to do something I'd get paid for.

The more you write, the faster you'll write, and the less you'll mind throwing stuff out.

I can't focus on any one day, because I always have to be ready for the next. It's fun but frenetic - like living in a circus that never stops performing.

A lot of young writers are very precious about their words. Don't be - you've got to be ready to burn stuff. You're not as good as you think you are, at least not yet.

It's interesting, on your second day of existence, to realize that your father is going to blame all the future failures of his life on you.

The only way anyone ever won a war, is to make the enemy hurt so bad that he can't stand it any more. ... George S. Patton

A good end cannot sanctify evil means

There is no word equivalent to 'cuckold' for women.

For me, traveling and living are the same. How you travel is a symbol of your life.

Foreign policy is really domestic policy with its hat on.

As I was in the air, the ball took a bad hop and caromed behind me, but I was able to catch it with my bare hand. I hit the ground, bounced back up, and threw Burroughs out at first.

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!

I feel like I've passed through a certain door in my life and that I'm standing in a different room now.

Only an indirect method is effective. We do nothing if we have not first drawn back.

In the presence of Jesus in the Holy Sacrament we ought to be like the Blessed in heaven before the Divine Essence