Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

When a woman has not received much flattery in her life, she will be seduced.

Our society seems to say that a real man needs and wants nobody.

Being in a hurry seems so fiercely important when you yourself are the hurrier and so comically ludicrous when it is someone else.

Your cells are as depressed as you are, and your cells are as happy and frisky as you are.

Success is clarity of my intention....and reaching that intention while being true to myself and with joy.

The art of nature is all in the direction of concealment.

If you insist on wearing gloves, make sure they match your purse.

Then from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat, so he gave up being king of the wild things.

Billy (Martin) wasn't afraid of anything.

I would fly to Los Angeles just for a cheeseburger with pickles and extra tomatoes from In-N-Out.