Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

DEATH COMES SLOWLY LIKE ANTS TO A FALLEN FIG

Death so called is a thing which makes men weep And yet a third of life is pass'd in sleep.

An election is a moral horror as bad as a battle except for the blood a mud bath for every soul concerned in it.

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay.

I'm not running away from my fears," I told Dane. "I'm running away from my relatives.

I see marketing not only as a vital skill for small business success, but more importantly, as a vehicle to create art and connect deeply with and serve others to make the world a better place.

I know that I'll forever be involved in ballet. This is where my life was meant to be, and I don't see myself straying completely away, ever.

Vengeance has no foresight.

I just want to do something big if I do anything at all.

We're looking forward to a great season at the University of California - if we find a way to put cleats on their sandals.