Cynicism is the humor of hatred.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.

People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.

The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.

A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.

I'll have that one, please.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour: he will always use it in evidence against you.

There's a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone and getting married. Usually, after you get married, you fall in love with the person even more.

Were the walls of our meat industry to become transparent, literally or even figuratively, we would not long continue to raise, kill, and eat animals the way we do.

There is no merit where there is no trial; and till experience stamps the mark of strength, cowards may pass for heroes, and faith for falsehood.

Life would be pretty boring if we didn't have vices.

Strangely enough I'm better on a stage. I love that I feel like I blossom in front of a whole bunch of people.

The superstitions of today are the scientific facts of tomorrow.

Pastors and missionaries (need) to know God and to find in him a Treasure more satisfying than any other person or thing or relationship or experience or accomplishment in the world.

Harvester might have a halo, but dear, sweet Lord, she was no angel in the sack. Awesome.

Getting along with the gang in one place is not any harder than getting along in another. It depends about 98 percent on your own behavior.

using parking meters as walking sticks.