D.C.'s always had a great scene.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.

Twenty generations ago - around the year 1390 - you had 1 048 576 ancestors. In the 21st generation of your family that number will double again.

Metamorphosis has always been the greatest symbol of change for poets and artists. Imagine that you could be a caterpillar one moment and a butterfly the next.

lips all crude scarlet, and eyes as absurdly big and round as a child's good-by kiss.

I started to do everything I could to succeed, but found that the more successful I became, the less people liked me.

We live in a world of media that are constantly telling us it is only the shape of your body that matters to how attractive you are, and that's silly.

When you're NAT on the net, you're NOT on the net

Before thou callest a man hero or genius, investigate whether his exertion has features of indelibility; for all that is celestial, all genius, is the offspring of immortality.

You've got to have as many good times as bad, or it all becomes too painful and too much work.

The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.