DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Every challenge you face today makes you stronger tomorrow. The challenge of life is intended to make you better, not bitter.

God is our Holy Father.

I wanted us to have an adventure. Because I love that crap. Because I'm not whatever-her-name-is. I don't think it's oh so hard to walk four miles in the snow. I want that. I love that.

It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

They say you can't do it, but sometimes it doesn't always work.

I don't want to go anywhere outside of gymnastics.

In the face of all this evil, we remain strong and united, 'One Nation Under God.'

I'm a writer of faith. I was raised Catholic, and I have a deeply Catholic imagination.

I just get bored easily. As I'm sure other people do too.

I can't understand why people in Scotland rave about Darren Fletcher.