DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I’m not capable of suffering completely. I never have. It goes only down to a certain point and then it stops. As long as there is that untouched point, it’s not really pain.

If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear the pain of loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.

There is nothing evil save that which perverts the mind and shackles the conscience.

Now, at the end of three years struggle the nation's condition is not what either party, or any man devised, or expected. God alone can claim it.

Nothing twists and deforms the soul more than a low or unworthy conception of God

I believe that in years to come, historians will see the beginning of the 21st century as the ‘golden age’ of real estate.

When we learn to smile at life, we shall find that the problems we encounter dissolve.

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time.

The moment clients realize that revisions are not an all-you-can-eat buffet, suddenly they realize they are not hungry.

Pain never really goes away; you just elevate and get used to it by growing stronger.