DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

All we really want is for no one to have a boring life, to be impressive, so we can be impressed. ~ on the friends we choose.

It’s maybe impossible to escape (your own head), but I guess the secret is the prison cell just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and prettier and prettier and prettier.

My life isn't necessarily more important than anyone else's: I'm just better in talking about it.

That which knows all things and is known by none is the subject.

When a writer has done the best that he can do, he should then withdraw from the book-writing business and take up an honest trade like shoe repair, cattle stealing, or screwworm management.

The world in general disapproves of creativity, and to be creative in public is particularly bad. Even to speculate in public is rather worrisome.

The administration [of Barack Obama] is going to have to figure out, you know, a tough response on the basis of this [Russian] hacking.

Daisy had known the novel was silly even as she had read it, but that had not detracted one bit from her enjoyment.

I didn't get the Russian Jew part because they didn't think I looked Russian or Jewish enough - and, mind you, I am both Russian and Jewish - so I was cast as the racist Mexican.

For me, genres are a way for people to easily categorize music. But it doesn't have to define you. It doesn't have to limit you.