DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Prayer is the best way to face any problem, to crush every fear and to release every pain

Learn and train yourself to take the hits in life. Obstacles, barriers and setbacks will come. What matters is how you tackle them, work your way around or find your way through them.

So you have to accept facts as fact.

The evening news is a concept whose time has come and gone.

You've gotta separate yourself from the character. It's hard... so it can make its way into your everyday life.

The church is something beautiful

In those days, man, in the '50s, black people in the South... We didn't recognize contracts that much. And we didn't recognize marriages that much, either.

If someone falls into any sin and is not sincerely grieved about it, it is easy for him to fall into the same thing again.

Pray absolutely for those things you may pray for absolutely. Pray conditionally for those things you may pray for conditionally. For those things you can't pray for - don't.

Too often, a vast collection of possessions ends up possessing its owner. The asset I most value, aside from health, is interesting, diverse, and long-standing friends.