Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Be sure to bend but never break

There is no harvest without hard work, therefore never expect chance to solve your problems of abject need for you. You must take deliberate actions!

This secular Leftist denial of human free will is one of the reasons the Left recoils from labeling evil as evil, and (correctly) ascribes talk about good and evil to the religious.

We have built a thousand temples to Fortune and not one to Reason.

Smile is the shortest and fastest communication between strangers.

The arrow that pierces the deer only scratches a whale.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

I glory in this world of men and women, torn with troubles, yet living on to love and laugh through it all.

I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door.

Fame is not just. She never finely or discriminatingly praises, but coarsely hurrahs.