Daphne’s thought in Nation: This was no time to go totally mad. You had to maintain standards.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

People must be just and fair, starting with what they thought.

The old attitude toward newspapers was that they were completely disposable - today's newspaper is tomorrow's fish wrap.

... Nessun maggior dolore Che ricordarsi del tempo felice Nella miseria. (There is no greater pain than to remember a happy time when one is in misery.)

I can count on one hand how many people I trust.

Our love cannot be measured, it just is.

Some experts have declared that it is necessary to tax the people until it hurts. I disagree with these sadists.

It comes so soon, the moment when there is nothing left to wait for.

We like to pile language on language. Hunter [ S. Thompson] was an influence on me, no doubt about it.

If you are wise, be wise; keep what goods the gods provide you.

I'm the type who'd rather not work than work on something I'm not into. I've done that a couple of times, and I feel like I can totally see it in my performance.