Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Stand up for who you are. Reject the status quo!

Photos sat on the piano and shelves bulged with books, testament to a life well lived.

Authenticity is about what makes you, you. It is an expression of your beingness.

Do I hear a challenge?” she whispers, “Oh, Carlos. You know I can’t resist a challenge.

Because I could not stop for Death He kindly stopped for me - The carriage held but just ourselves And Immortality.

The most important thing is to be proud of the work that you put into something, and put the ego aside.

Each individual has a universal responsibility to shape institutions to serve human needs.

Licorice is the liver of candy.

Eyes watching always Shadows in shadows they wait A black feather falls First accepted, loved Then betrayed-spit in the face Vengeance sweet like dots.

Once you're a Motown artist, you're always a Motown artist