Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Trust but check. Check on those we trust.

Ram-fication of Ravan-ous thoughts is what Dussehra all about.

CharityIn charity lies happiness and bliss, If you haven’t done charity, you may miss, The power to love and share, Charity gives you happiness beyond compare.

Actions always have consequences!

There are moments in life. And, yes, still moments in death.

If you like Texas and you like our economy, I helped create all that and all those jobs and you will love it when David Dewhurst goes to Washington.

I did well as an actor in Australia, and then Paramount invited me over... to have a look at me.

Liberty is, to the lowest rank of every nation, little more than the choice of working or starving.

Men are always sincere. They change sincerities, that's all.

I've been a godmother loads of times, but being a grandmother is better than anything.