Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

One is seldom unchanged by the death of those one loves. It gives me a deeper knowledge of them, and so of oneself in regard to them.

If she had learnt any lesson today it was that men were stupid, helpless creatures made needlessly cruel by their terror of showing their feelings.

If we could get your subconscious mind to agree with your conscious mind about being happy, that's when your positive thoughts work.

If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder? Can we have it against other things?

Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness.

Anger and hatred, when left unfed, bleed away like air from a punctured tire, over time and days and years. Forgiveness is stealth.

The road to Hades is easy to travel; at any rate men pass away with their eyes shut.

The hand that controls the supper dish rules the world!

This diagnosis can be done in about two lines. It doesn't engage anybody.

The only way one can guarantee one's loyalty is love. Loyalty is beyond logic, really.