Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Victory takes sides on people who are more compatible with nature and future.

Only redeemed children of God can become redeemers for their people

The Holy Spirit not only convicts of sin but also convinces men that Jesus is the righteousness of God. He shows sinners that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

Wars are never cured, they just go into remission for a few years.

Making movies is all about instinct.

To know objects only through dissecting and cataloguing them is to miss their full reality. It is to fall asleep amidst the mystery and to become numb to the wonder of this great Earth.

The hallmark of a healthy society has always been measured by how it cares for the disadvantaged.

Some people are probably saner. They're good performers, and they go about their day. I just get obsessive about it.

A good trader loves an active market, you don't make money when the market is static.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.