Death comes black and hard, rushing down on me from the future, with no possible chance of escape.

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.

Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.

Understanding the laws of nature does not mean that we are immune to their operations.

The jingling of a fat purse always commands the world.

True genius can be identified by the fact that its expression changes the world into something it has never been before.

Adolescence is that time in your life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

You will find it easiest to ride the avalanche in the direction it already travels.

The human race never solves any of its problems, it only outlives them.

Regardless of what you are going through, God has a solution

The smartest people can write the worst emails and those of less intellect can write the best.

When we focus on love, we shall experience love.

We all love narratives where we're the captain of our boat, and Americans love them more than anybody else.

I like to think that I'm not as ominous in real life.

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

My father had a very violent temper, and he was never home. So I was kind of a mama's boy.

But these are flowers that fly and all but sing: And now from having ridden out desire They lie closed over in the wind and cling Where wheels have freshly sliced the April mire.

He who thinks he lives without sin puts aside not sin, but pardon.