Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Change is not what we expect from religious people. They tend to love the past more than the present or the future.

The lower a human being descends, the more asleep and inhumane he becomes. Those beings that lack Compassion, Love, and Peace are the true targets of the ego system...

One of the absolute rules I learned in the war was, don't know anything you don't need to know, because if you ever get caught they will get it out of you.

Do the best you can do and wait the results in peace.

Pick a goal, make a realistic plan to reach that goal, work through each step of the plan, and repeat.

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."

I am always late because people stop me for autographs and say hi.

It's hard enough growing up and figuring out who you are and what on earth you wanna be and it doesn't help when people are constantly cutting you down

Dream, dream, for this is also sooth.

Picture yourself crushin' Xzibit with your tough talk? That's like Christopher Reeve doing the crip walk.