Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

Fall in love with the heart before the face.

Although I'm Australian, I find myself much more in sympathy with the Austrian version!

I have always wanted to be a catalyst for bringing about positive change, inspiring others to choose goodness.

Some persons are so inclined to mortify themselves that at every opportunity they have, they do so. What a beautiful practice this is, and how profitable!

Embracing yourself is important and I wish that all women would realize how beautiful they are, inside and out.

Wit, like money, bears an extra value when rung down immediately it is wanted. Men pay severely who require credit.

I was assigned to the heavy cruiser Chicago.

It is true that prosperity has many close friends; poverty, on the other hand, has only distant watchers!

What matters is how you feel inside, because feeling beautiful on the inside is key to looking good.

All great power has to do to destroy itself is persist in trying to do the impossible.