Democracy can survive anything except Democrats

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

I'm doing exactly what I want to do, and I'm having fun doing it.

Fact is fact. Truth is Truth. It does not matter how you feel. We do not listen to our feelings. We believe the truth of God's word.

Bad things don't happen to writers; it's all material.

Learn all there is to learn, and then choose your own path.

The public is usually slow to catch on to new things, and its important that musicians stick to their guns and not look for that instant gratification.

To every complex question there is a simple answer and it is wrong.

I don't know if I could, like, see a face and know what the face of beauty looks like, but after I've seen it I know if I've felt like it was beauty.

You can't be reluctant to give up your lie and still tell the truth.

Paradise is a center whither the souls of all men are proceeding, each sect in its particular road.