Democracy is a word all public men use and none understand.

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything.

Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.

Islam is the best religion and Muslims are the worst followers

You're never perfectly safe. No human being on Earth ever is or ever was. To live is to risk your life, your heart, everything.

Al is on the surface. And it's been a long way, but we're here.

The vice-president's tongue is several time zones ahead of his brain.

I don't know why I'm alive but I know there's a reason for it.

Elbows are never put on the table while one is eating.

Occasionally the impossible happens; this is a truism that accounts for much of what we call good luck; and also, bad.

I tested a lot of old cornbread recipes and most of them were bland or tough.

I feel as if I'm clearly part of a trend among writers who take themselves seriously - and I confess to taking myself as seriously as the next writer.

I love Christianity, Islam and many other faiths - through Hinduism.

There are staples to my show. I have to be conscious about switching things up because I know people who saw me last year will say, 'He did that last time.' But if certain things work, they work.