Demons were like genies or philosophy professors - if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.

And you are more than the mistakes of your youth. You are more than the label you’ve been assigned by people who might love you, but don’t really know who you are anymore.

As a clinical psychologist, I am regularly confronted with the brutal truth that we are all lie.

Next to the joy of the egotist is the joy of the detractor.

Men are like trees: each one must put forth the leaf that is created in him.

When I was at the age when you were supposed to be glamorous if you were a movie star, I wasn't.

Of course, the young male demographic has always been the target demographic for 'Star Trek,' the men ageing fifteen to about twenty-five or thirty, a very tough market to appeal to.

If you can pinpoint the moments in social media that are really negative experiences, those are the ones you can cut out. And when you do, you recognize how much better your life is.

Science is just magic with better PR.

I'm a really, really, smart, multi-talented almost-genius, who's very annoying.