Dennis to friend: No use crying, Joey. There aren't any grownups around.

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.

Just because I didn't do what you told me, doesn't mean I wasn't listening to you!

No more turkey, but I'd like some more of the bread it ate.

You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played.

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.

The special trait making me an anarch is that I live in a world which I ‘ultimately’ do not take seriously. This increases my freedom

Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.

I am at that age when former child stars go off the rails.

Ride as much or as little, or as long or as short as you feel. But ride.

We have time enough if we but use it aright

He couldn't figure out if she was immensely well adjusted or seriously messed up.

Just because we are in wheelchairs doesn't mean we can't play a fast-paced, full-contact sport.

Profit is not an event. It's a habit.

I originally passed on Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head in 1969, so they gave it to B.J. Thomas.

When a man publishes a book, there are so many stupid things said that he declares he'll never do it again. The praise is almost always worse than the criticism.