Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

I just try to be honest, because I think that's part of my job description as a writer.

A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

Everywhere I go, I will make a good payday. But we got to choose the right opponent and the right time and the right venue.

Do not always live in your world; visit the worlds of others too!

Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.

I've had three novels published, and I was working a little bit in theater in Ireland. I wrote one film script just to see what it would turn out like.

Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is 'The Book of British Birds,' and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology.

I still think it's really quite wonderful when I read a sentence of mine and it has that quality of lastingness.

Democracy is a process, not a static condition. It is becoming, rather than being. It can be easily lost, but is never finally won.