Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

I think perhaps all of us go a little crazy at times.

Horror is the removal of masks.

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

We're all not quite as sane as we pretend to be.

So much for modern science and its wonderful discoveries that just about everything can kill you. Life is only a bedtime story before a long, long sleep.

I always carry a pistol when I go [to the New York Public Library]. Never did trust those stone lions.

Our echoes roll from soul to soul, And grow forever and for ever.

Change will never happen if you lack the ability and courage to see yourself for who you really are.

We cannot ask in behalf of Christ what Christ would not ask Himself if He were praying.

I pack a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. That's it. I don't have the time or patience for anything else. I'm a natural kind of guy. I don't style my hair - never learned how.

Truth can never be reached by just listening to the voice of an authority.

If a girl gets assaulted, it's not because she was drunk. It's because somebody decided to assault her.

You can trace every sickness, every disease and every ailment to a mineral deficiency.

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.

Anything worth knowing is already known and must be remembered and reclaimed by the soul.

I was in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories in 1980. It was only a bit part and I didn't get to speak but I felt that I was in a real movie and heading where I had always wanted to be.