Destiny has a constant passion for the incongruous.

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

Gossip is never fatal until it is denied.

Whatever does not pretend at all has style enough.

Boyhood is the longest time in life for a boy. The last term of the school-year is made of decades, not of weeks, and living through them is like waiting for the millennium.

The only good in pretending is the fun we get out of fooling ourselves that we fool somebody.

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

The only safe male rebuke to a scornful female is to stay away from her - especially if that is what she desires.

The understanding smile of an old wife to her husband is one of the loveliest things in the world.

It is love in old age, no longer blind, that is true love. For the love's highest intensity doesn't necessarily mean it's highest quality.

There aren't any old times. When times are gone they're not old, they're dead! There aren't any times but new times!

All hate is the result of people refusing to take responsibility for their own lives.

You just can't let anything or anyone get in the way of who you are.

It is easier to prevent thistles and habits than to uproot them.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.

The mere title of lawyer is sufficient to deprive a man of the public confidence. ... The most innocent and irreproachable life cannot guard a lawyer against the hatred of his fellow citizens.

'I am that I am,' said the Eternal. The Eternal - it is the race. One in substance - undifferentiated. One in time - stable and eternal.

We need to stop the dying and start the living; stop the hunger and start the hoping.

It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave.

Nothing but a necessity invincible by any other means can justify ... a prostitution of laws, which constitute the pillars of our whole system of jurisprudence.