Destiny n: a tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

She said that the planting of trees, like the education of children, was a gift to the future.

The biggest lie women tell themselves about men: When I get what I want, I will be happy.

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree.

May I a small house and large garden have; And a few friends, And many books, both true.

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work.

Magic is the divinity of man achieved in union with faith.

You cannot teach a person something he does not already know, you can only bring what he does know to his awareness.

Let me do all the good I can, to all the people I can, as often as I can, for I shall not pass this way again.

We want a state wise in its contemplation - just in its actions - and moderate in the reach of government into our lives.

The wind-shak'd surge, with high and monstrous main, Seems to cast water on the burning Bear, And quench the guards of the ever-fixed pole.