Detroit's so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

You are a special being

Be calm. Keep reading.

In writing, there is art. And in art, there is craft ...

We no longer have a free market in the United States, we have a government controlled free market.

Before none of your printed idols do I bend in acquiescence, and he who saith "thou shalt" to me is my mortal foe!

We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options.

Whether it be in a small movie or a big movie, I would always be attracted to this role.

Even in a society as tightly controlled as Singapore's, the market creates certain forces which perhaps in the long run may lead to democracy

The world that has made us can no longer contain us

If you read Animal Farm, you know that humans traditionally forget the reason we have revolutions in the first place.