Dianetics is an adventure. It is an exploration into Terra Incognita, the human mind, that vast and hitherto unknown realm half an inch back of our foreheads.

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.

Freedom is for honest people. No man who is not himself honest can be free – he is his own trap.

What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. And when you lose that, you have lost everything.

Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today and you make your tomorrow.

Nothing in Scientology is true for you unless you have observed it and it is true according to your observation

Scientology is the only specific (cure) for radiation (atomic bomb) burns.

They smell of all the baths they didnt take. The trouble with China is, there are too many chinks here.

To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe.

The test of true competence is the end result.

The only way you can control people is to lie to them. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them.

Words are more thoughts

When he caught his breath, he regarded her with glowing, half-closed eyes. "If I'm very, very good, shei'tani, will you do that again when we're alone?

Laird suffered second degree burns ...in the frank and beans area, if you know what I mean." Trent winced. That must have been one hell of a breakup.

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with UFOs in particular, and the paranormal. I grew up in the '90s, which is when The X-Files was at its zenith.

Let's forget the reunification, let's just shut up and don't talk about that topic for the next 20 years.

Our kids are in a little band, and they like to play video games, and my wife and I do our best to live a low-key, non-Hollywood kind of life.

When I retire or pass away, I will be able to look back and say that this has been an exciting life. That's all that matters.

The foundation of the world lies in the nation. The foundation of the nation lies in the family. The foundation of the family lies in the individual.

I've done a lot of partying in my time because I didn't want to go home and I didn't know what to do.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.