Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it—no.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

Don't hate it's too big a burden to bear.

The reality is that no one can be forced to join a union against their will, and a union cannot take action against those who decide not to join their union.

Consciousness conceives, governs, constructs, and becomes the activity of the body.

There is only one me.

It's no secret that I love to talk, but the real secret is I love to listen, too.

The Oscar changed everything. Better salary, working with better people, better projects, more exposure, less privacy.

I believe it is incumbent upon Congress to act aggressively to ameliorate fear and help our country take the essential steps that will make our communities and lives safer.

Two things are owed to truthfulness: lasting marriages and short friendships.

Because we humans find stories such fascinating things, it’s all too easy to get interested in the story for its own sake, and lose sight of the purpose for which we set out to use the story.

I praise the Lord, the Sovereign of the royal realm, Who has extended his sway over the tract of the world.