Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

what a sad pair we are, " she said. "Surely we can manage a conversation on a topic other than our respective terrible evenings.

People in a hurry cannot think cannot grow nor can they decay. They are preserved in a state of perpetual puerility.

The United States Constitution has proved itself the most marvelously elastic compilation of rules of government ever written.

Vampires are total sexual metaphors; there's just no way around that.

Maximum difficulty isn't the same as optimal difficulty.

The Christian faith is a singing faith, and a good way to express it and share it with others is in community singing.

Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not distort, delay, or sequester information

For fun? Maybe evil is an art form.

You can win the Champions League in the worst season.

Religion belonged to the infancy of humanity. Now that humanity had come of age, it should be left behind.