Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

To a lot of children, school is currently mostly a place to learn what you aren’t any good at.

When all hopes are lost then the desire to believe in God is our belief.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.

I wait all year for the colder seasons, just so that when I wear my Hogwarts scarf it's functional as well as fashionable.

Technology is cool, but you've got to use it as opposed to letting it use you.

I'm incredibly competitive in all sports in a way that is so mystifying to my wife because she grew up playing the violin and piano. I've always been like that.

I consider myself a line drive hitter with power. I just try to put my best swing on the ball every time.

A zero itself is nothing, but without a zero you cannot count anything; therefore, a zero is something, yet zero.

I can direct breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I take pride in my kitchen, but I'm not going to direct a movie.

I'd like to write some songs that are so good that nobody understands them. Not even myself.