Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don't have to be anything else.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.

Create your own visual style... let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

Race hate isn't human nature; race hate is the abandonment of human nature.

Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in senate.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

The essential is to excite the spectators. If that means playing Hamlet on a flying trapeze or in an aquarium, you do it.

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

You don't ask for all that you get. You don't get all that you ask for. That shouldn't stop you from working the hardest for what you wan't the most.

To mourn is to touch directly the substance of divine compassion.

Riches have never yet given anybody either peace or rest.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Rather than finding heaven on earth, we are asked to release heaven by living on earth.

Want a cookie,' Ra said. 'What kind?' 'Weasel cookie.' I'm here to tell you, that comment about weasel cookies probably saved the known universe.

It is impossible to be saved without the help of the Most Blessed Virgin, because those who are not saved by the justice of God are saved by the intercession of Mary.

I really believe that the single hardest thing in business is building a company that does repeatable innovation... and just has this ongoing culture of excellence as it grows.

Caryl Churchill is a writer of some note, but in the sack, she makes me explain everything.

What I can't do anywhere is be with you.