Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

It's very easy to be judgmental until you know someone's truth.

When the inward is good the outward is also inevitably so, for the outward always follows the inward, whether good or evil.

Beware! I'm acting under the influence of human nature.

Familiarity breeds contentment.

There is more and more data indicating that there is a biological basis to your political views.

It is preferable not to travel with a dead man.

I smoke till I got chest pains

Just as the Salt Lake Temple took 40 years to build, stone by stone, you are building a virtuous life, step by step.

The Zionists'...main preoccupation is not to save Jews alive out of Europe but to get Jews into Palestine.

[Much] as war attracts me and fascinates my mind with its tremendous situations, I feel more deeply every year . . . what vile and wicked folly and barbarism it all is.