Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Fate is cruel but maybe not random. Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn't mean we have to bow and gravel to it.

What I was saved to is much more important than what I was saved from.

I want to be a person who makes a quiet difference.

Civil marriage, like all civil rights provided by the government, must be provided equally to all Americans.

Ah, to that far distant strand Bridge there was not to convey, Not a bark was near at hand, Yet true love soon found the way.

Maybe Radiohead and R.E.M. Even a group like the National - artists who have crossed over without compromising. It's a special thing.

For tens of millions of people [television] has become habit-forming, brain-softening, taste-degrading.

I'm used to having big movie cameras in my face, I pretend that they're not there. But I actually like being on my own, I like being in the space.

My grandfather was a practising Quaker. My father was a nihilist. But nihilism, if you like, is the beginning of faith anyway.

Scripture suggests that the elements in space were created for the benefit of earth, while evolution suggests that earth is an insignificant speck in vast space.