Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Do not let difficulties overcome your true purpose

Gratitude for the seemingly insignificant—a seed—this plants the giant miracle.

Everyman's life lies within the present for the past is spent and done with and the future is uncertain.

I don't stand for the black man's side, I don' t stand for the white man's side. I stand for God's side.

You can put up with everything in this world except not with a long stretch of beautiful days.

Why go somewhere else and start up all over again?

I never read anything concerning my work. I feel that criticism is a letter to the public which the author, since it is not directed to him, does not have to open and read.

It would be nice to avoid the world, to leave it and all its threats and unhappiness. Not to die or anything like that, but to find a place of solitude and solace.

Art can only be taught by artists.

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.