Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Nostalgia, the vice of the aged. We watch so many old movies our memories come in monochrome.

Much of my experience of life has cost me a great price and I wish to use it for strengthening and comforting other souls.

Hormones were as potent as whiskey, and twice as sneaky.

The blessings of the priesthood are infinitely greater than the one who is asked to administer the gift.

A friend is the only person you will let into the house when you are Turning Out Drawers.

As long as I draw breath and am able, I won't give up practicing philosophy.

But to be able to kiss someone you love when you're fully and completely in control of yourself and know who you are...it's exquisite. How we love others is affected by how we love ourselves.

We immediately become more effective when we decide to change ourselves rather than asking things to change for us.

What light through yonder window breaks?

The last man in the world who should have been criticized was the American soldier. They should have criticized me.