Did you use a chainsaw?" Joey said. "I seem to recall you like chainsawa." "There wasn't a power outlet." Clay turned to me. "That's what I want for Father's Day, darling. A gas powered chainsaw.

I want you to have big dreams, big goals. I want you to strive to achieve them. But I don't want to see you beating yourself up every time you make a mistake.

when times are tough, the weak bail and the tough get creative.

Wow. The guy can make me feel stupid even when he's telling me I don't have to let him make me feel stupid.

The rottweiler stood his ground and waited for me to take the next step in the dance of ritualized intimidation. Instead, I leaped at him. Screw ritual. Now was not the time to stand on ceremony.

Kids who don't eavesdrop on adult conversations are doomed to a childhood of ignorance.

Remembering. Forgetting. I'm not sure which is worse.

A name is so important. A surname connects you to your past, to your family. Even a given name has meaning - why did your parents pick that particular one?

First you buy me a mocha. Then you let me help you hide a body. Now you take me to a biker clubhouse. Best. Day. Ever.

He was trying to tell me something.' Derek snorted. 'Aren’t they all? Must be a rule in the ghost handbook—if in danger of evaporating, make sure you’re in the middle of a dire pronouncement.

I grew up writing about the paranormal, and I blame too many Saturday mornings watching Scooby Doo.

The way of transgressors is hard.

All a writer has to do to get a woman is to say he's a writer. It's an aphrodisiac.

How do I explain Neil Young? Great question! I explain Neil Young as, I would kill to see his acoustic shows.

I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it's for a live show it's usually a buy-out. A flat fee.

Many an honest man practices upon himself an amount of deceit sufficient, if practised upon another, and in a little different way, to send him to the state prison.

I have a love of baseball and a love of music.

What cannot be known is more revealing than what can.

Stereotypes work to help divide women from recognizing their common interests.

When I was seventeen, I don't think I even knew what love was. But when it's right, it's right, and you just know it.

Love is the glue that keeps the stars in place.