Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

We are not meant to know the time or the nature of our deaths (for all of us secretly hope that we may be immortal).

You were created, fashioned and designed in a special form to leave in the world something that did not exist before you were born!

TRUST is like a paper once it’s crumpled it can’t be PERFECT again.

The attempt to force human beings to despise themselves is what I call hell.

Many are obstinate with regard to the pathway once they have set upon it, few with regard to the goal.

You can't depend on other people, you have to run your own race.

Women need opportunity and encouragement. If a girl can climb mountains, she can do anything positive within her field of work.

Lot of things depend on the up bringing of a child.

Pete (Rose) doesn't run with celebrities and he can't stand the phonies. His big buddy in LA ain't Sinatra, it's a funny old groundskeeper.

With a sudden sharp hot stink of fox, It enters the dark hole of the head. The window is starless still; the clock ticks, The page is printed.