Diet Coke with lemon - didn't that used to be called Pledge?

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

We're so afraid of being hurt that we become the abuser first.

At the end of the day the only thing that stays are your words. They linger while you disappear. Hanging in the air like they're on a clothesline, oh how I wish I could let them go.

I have a lot of boyfriends, I want you to write that. Every country I visit, I have a different boyfriend. And I kiss them all.

Blame no one. Expect nothing. Do something.

In the best farce today we start with some absurd premise as to character or situation, but if the premises be once granted we move logically enough to the ending.

If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs.

What I will say will not always please you, but what I say will always be honest and true and how I genuinely see it.

If tomorrow will be the end of the world, I will spend my today by looking at the pictures of my past!

When you step further into the story you came to live, not only does the mythic territory open, but the deep self moves and the world of imagination and meaning comes towards you.

I'm a guy who works very hard and if I want something bad enough, I'm going to do anything possible to get it.