Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

But here we see the peace of God is not the absence of negative thoughts, it is the presence of God himself.

Since your habits and hygiene will all help you feel great, look great, and improve the quality of your life, isn’t it worth your effort to make them a part of your reality?

A self-respecting man is a man without a country. A fatherland is birdlime.

Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy - it's supposed to make you married.

The best competition I have is against myself to become better

I came into office to do what was correct, not to see what was politically expedient to get re-elected.

I was unfaithful even to Infidelity.

Get together a hundred or two men, however sensible they may be, and you are very likely to have a mob.

To be content does not mean that you don't desire more, it means you're thankful for what you have and patient for what's to come.

Don't settle for average. You were made for greatness.