Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

For a better world, we need education. nevertheless, more than education, we need people with common sense.

Displaying vice to the mockery of men deals it a great blow. Men put up with admonition but are loath to be mocked. One might be willing to be wicked

My struggle to remain healthy is gradually killing me.

If I were thinking straight, I'd take you home right now.

We are the Bibles the world is reading; We are the creeds the world is needing; We are the sermons the world is heeding.

As a business you should probably be examining, hey, is this the type of message we want to send?

We should celebrate more often politicians who stand up and say things that are unpopular.

You can make bad choices and find yourself in a downward spiral or you can find something that gets you out of it.

People hesitate to follow their desires because they don't know how to divide their soul from their spirit.

If you get basics that can be switched and piece it together, that is so important.