Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

It is fate, damn destiny, that has its way with us.

The expectation of an unpleasantness is more terrible than the thing itself.

You can be out of slavery and have the right to vote, but unless you have access to capital, industry and technology, you can't fulfill your dreams.

Something is infinite if, taking it quantity by quantity, we can always take something outside.

For a team to accomplish their goal, everybody’s got to give up a little bit of their individuality.

Things change for the better when we take responsibility for our own thoughts, decisions and actions.

Like the government, corporations must be bound with the chains of the Constitution, and especially of the Bill of Rights.

In the fields of observation chance favors only those minds which are prepared.

When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?

Christianity did not destroy paganism; it adopted it.