Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?

If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.

I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.

Sometimes when Im nervous, thats when the most interesting things happen.

Why are old maps always burnt?

I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world.

My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

I only do private room karaoke where its just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.

Im Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.

On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.

Children need fairy tales, but it is just as essential that they have parents who tell them about their own lives, so that they can establish a relationship to the past.

Brazil is the second blackest nation in the world.

Unless you can find some sort of LOYALTY, you cannot find unity and peace in your active living.

Any attempt to reduce the complex properties of biological organisms or of nervous systems or of human brains to simple physical and chemical systems is foolish.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Woman is, by habit or nature, queen of the household. She is not designed to organize on a large scale.

There's chaos out there and chaos means opportunity.

A weeping woman is a bucket with no bottom.

'Acting as if...' I decided, ridiculously in retrospect, that my experience covering women's volleyball for my college newspaper was sufficient for me to at least try to become a war correspondent.

If it meant that I would never get to think of you that way, as long as you were happy, it was okay.